Muses

I deeply love people who respond to their day with how they’re feeling. 
How they listen to music that matches their mood to create an atmosphere that reflects. 

 

Who dress to match this, as if their whole day depends on the proper authentic expression, one way or another. It seems to me, these people are in tune with themselves at all times, consciously done or not. 

 

In a way, unintentionally being the trail blazers of authenticity and expression. 
Within this created atmosphere, is an invitation. 

I used to think spirituality meant you were someone who always had this sort of grand scheme answer. 
That you were connected to a stream of consciousness where you were having epiphany after epiphany, 
that you just knew something other people didn't. 
I used to think that being spiritual meant you had to believe in a god or a divine purpose. 
That constant happiness and peace would be yours if you wanted it. 
I’ve come to learn its none of those things at all. 
It's much more personal and messier than a big answer, or an omnipresent overlord (or lady) telling you whats what and guiding you. 
I’ve learned its you leaning into yourself more, trusting your gut, and staring at your own reflection going 
“you cheeky bitch” 
and then dancing to shake out the horrors and sorrows. 
It's inviting in the love of those who show up and pour into you. 
Not out of fear or feeling as if you have to, but actively showing up and saying 
“hey! I’m a messy ass bitch too, can you believe we were conditioned to think we’re inherently bad and full of sin?! 
Lets hold hands, so we can walk through this life together” 

I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting on my own bullshit 
(when am I not, i mean really give it a rest girl) and pulling up my roots. 
How my own grief has shoved me into a new timeline that I have no idea how to navigate. 
You’re telling me theres actually no divine calling for me,
 other than to live and seek my own ground and pour into others,
to seek community and learn from not only my own fuck ups but from the guidance of others? 
You mean I dont have to do this the hard way?
 I can put my armour down?
 Like i can.. actually put it down?

    

 I forgot and often forget how much humans as a species are suppose to be in communion with others.

Not to judge or tell each other how to live, 

but to hold each other accountable and to relate.

 To be authentic above all else. 

To live your life as yourself. 

Thats spirituality. 

I don’t need to have all the answers, and I can surrender into the unknown.

And when i’m a little lost, or heavy or even unsure I can look for the helpers in my life and know the load isn’t actually all that heavy. I’m just trying to carry it alone.