Reflections

 In the deepest most vibrant crevices of the heart, what humans long for the most, is to be understood, loved and cared for so deeply and honestly by another. That the purity of receiving this understanding from another, brings forth this pure, whole, true version of self.. without force or suggestion. This never has to mean a romantic connection, for those are generally clouded by societal labels and misunderstandings of communication/ versions of love etc etc... but a connection so pure in nature that it is nothing short of holy. 

 How truly rare it is to look into a mirror and see this clear vision of yourself, let alone this crystal clear view of another. 

My heart is the optimist in life, whilst my brain wears me down with the logical interpretations and realities that are sometimes a sad drain on who I am. 
My soul seems to come and go as she pleases, bringing forth wisdom, magick and perspective from all angles. 
The optimist hopes and loves, creates and sees the magick..while the pessimist scowls and scoffs, indulging in self pity and worldly cynicism.
 On reflection, there has never been one that leads more than the other, they just take their seasons and get on with it. 

Springs and Summers have turned to sadness, while Autumns and Winters offer up the Magick and answers I seek. And in different years time, the roles will shift. 

Each season is in itself,  not just a weather shift , but an emotional, spiritual, mental and creative change as well.

The cravings change, the people of frequent change, the expression of art changes, the desires of learning and the things I once held dear become examples of seasons past. 
And while the seasons change, so does my heart and this understanding of who I am. 

This brilliant and vibrant being who continues to thrive despite adversities and really bad versions of what my heart wants lol..

And while I continue to crave the sort of connection of kindred soul and heart love, 

I will continue holding that connection and understanding within the core of my own being. 

Deeply knowing, loving and understanding my own heart.

 I am continuously surprised by my own resilience to all things. 

Truly, my life has not turned out as I would have expected, and although at this very moment my heart is deeply and irrevocably broken. (Yet, completely whole by all the love I have felt, given or once have had.) I know there will be days in the future when I can look back with love, understanding and growth, and know it was not all for naught. (Haha double negative🙏🏼)

This offers me hope, and only makes me want to know those days already, just a little lol.
 Retrospect can be a beautiful gift to treasure and use.. and I truly wish to have and share it’s capacity this day and every other to follow. 
To be able to feel one thing, yet all things at once, this is my hearts greatest content and greatest sorrow. but for today, it is a gift. I do not offer more wisdom than I have, nor will I ever waste time pretending to know more than I do. I instead, offer myself as I am in whatever stage I am. 
How frightful and vulnerable to present your being to the world as you are in that moment. Good or bad (whatever that means) 
The interpretation of those who see you, will be entirely up to them...

Do we wish to see others as they present themselves (truthful or not) or do we want to see them as we think they are. 
These things can be at times, desperately hard to distinguish.. and I offer no advice or tricks in seeing one or the other.
 For me, it is always important to try and see a person for the truth of who they are, whether they offer it up or not. This is my blessing and my curse (that I lovingly hate.) Not everyone can see the soul of another, and this is something I have come to learn. Live your life as you honestly are, and you will see the world and others as they truly are, apparent or not. Within this, you can see the heart of another. Is it filled with love for themselves and the world around them, or is it something entirely different? 
Who are you and how do you perceive the world? 
These questions are yours alone to have and to answer, whether you share them is not relevant. 

-E.B

**Shared from my private collection**

Depression ** Coping mechanisms

**
3pm 05-17-18

As I feel myself slipping back into a depression, I find myself standing in the kitchen, antsy- force feeding myself cold pasta because well .. it would be the second thing on the list of small things I’ve eaten all day.
Depression, anger, confusion, hurt, sadness, resentment all coupled with an eating disorder that’s been hidden for years, and sharp demons of the past creeping, into the corners of my mind palace..
I’d have to say, it’s not a healthy combination.
In times like these, it’s hard to do anything .
So I begin my solitary journey inward .
I call on the muses for inspiration .
The angels for signs of hope .
The fairies of manifestation to show me opportunities,
and my brain to keep itself together.



It’s hard battling a brain that’s more intelligent than you, a body that needs to be well taken care of and fit but has a hard time producing enough happy chemicals..

Bodily care and meditation are my saviors, as I think on self care from previous extreme lows.
Hoping these things will give me a boost and snap me out of it.
Depression, along with emotional turmoil put on the “deal with later” shelf (mind palace nonsense) makes for a ticking time bomb, scooting me closer and closer to the edge of the cliffs .

As I feel my depression soaked clothing, I start the shower and strip down . Feeling lighter already .
Am I the only one who feels better without clothing?
 Sure, it’s not generally heavy. But it weighs my body down .
Coping mechanisms in hand , I just want this depression over with
GET ME OUT OF HERE
and I know once I am gone from this place that once made me feel so loved and safe, I will once again start coming back to myself .
The world will be beautiful again ( It is even now)  and I won’t be crying all the time.
(Oh but how long ?)
Woe is me, never works for long . And it’s never been my cup of tea.
More like, HOW THE FUXK DO I GET RID OF THIS?..
(gentleness and patience along with honesty and communication)

With the presence in my hands,
And the future outstretched .
My future has never been more clear ,

Now to deal with the present ..

Man: the biggest threat to sharks

There are currently over 400 species of sharks swimming in our earth's waters. They are one of the oldest apex predators (around 450 million years old) and are a huge factor in keeping the ocean and its fish population under control. Its bad enough the demand for human consumption of fish is a factor in the threat to our oceans, but what about the bigger threats that we pose to the population of sharks?

Approx. 100 million sharks are killed each year by humans. The deaths range from accidental motor killings, environment degradation, to commercial fishing boats picking them up accidentally while hunting for other fish, to being targeted by ludicrous humans aimed to torture, and the biggest threat of all- being targeted for a popular asian dish known as shark fin soup.

Shark finning, Currently the biggest threat to the most important predator to grace our oceans.
Mind you, shark finning is not just illegal, but shark fishing in general has been banned by a wide list of countries.
below is a list of countries currently banning shark finning, shark fishing and the shipment of shark parts. Also, a list of places that currently use shark fins or transport them. Listed is one of our own airlines, United.
List of countries banning shark fishing and finning 

Shark finning alone kills around 75 MILLION sharks per year, racking in devastating numbers for the population as a whole. The species of sharks that are in the greatest amount of danger, are that of the Great hammerhead and the Scalloped hammerhead.Both, are listed as having a high risk of extinction.
There are currently 14 species of sharks targeted by the shark fin trade.
Below is a link to those 14 species:
The 14 species of sharks at risk 
and here is a link to critically endangered shark species, for more than one reason:
10 amazing endangered shark species

The shark fins are used in a popular asian delicacy known as shark fin soup. Sure, a dish using a fish is harmless right ?
You'd be surprised how wrong this is, The fins are actually cut off when the sharks are still alive, and the fishermen then proceed to throw the sharks back into the ocean. Where they are likely to suffer a long and painful death. They can bleed to death, die of suffocation (sharks must be in constant swim motion to stay alive) or get eaten by other predatory creatures of the ocean. This leaves them and their shark families devastated.

  

The dish is rumored to have medical properties (which are not scientifically proven) but what the science really shows, is that sharks contain a high Level of mercury and subsequently pose a threat to our health. The fin itself has little to no taste and is actually used as a texture additive to the dish.  Which is served at weddings or banquets. Showing that the dish itself is prized and not really sought after for the taste or health benefits. The soup itself can range from $100 a serving and higher, making it a must-have in wealthy asian culture.


It's extremely hard to catch the fisherman who are participating in this illegal act, given the vastness of the ocean and the hundreds of thousands of fisherman going in and out of the waters daily. Making it almost impossible, to accurately records the numbers and report them correctly. Leaving the targeted species vulnerable to being at a greater risk than previously thought.


While many countries ban the finning and fishing of sharks, many places still serve the dish and do little to nothing to persecute the people caught in the act. These 'laxed laws and persecution rates, leave many comfortable with committing such crimes. At a whopping $450 a pound for the shark fins alone, its no wonder the prized dollars makes them highly sought after. The shark meat is priced less than your average fish, so the meat to these fisherman is considered useless, which is why they are generally thrown back in finless, alive and helpless . There are approx 26-73 million shark fins being bought and consumed per year in china alone. This is but one country indulging in the shark fin delicacy.

There are laws put in place and organizations working to better the possibility of keeping this ancient predator alive and protected. We are the biggest threat to these species and we alone have to fix the damage done.
Here is a link to the shark conservation act.
Shark conservation act

There are wonderful organizations like the WWF who work everyday to not only to help these endangered species be protected and studied, but other endangered species as well.
You can even Adopt a great white (how fun is that) Below is a link to do just that
Adopt me!
You can always donate to these ocean researchers and organizations (But always be sure to do your research to make sure they are actually using the money for that)
ways sharks are being helped
Here is a link to more ways you can help
Ways to help


Not only is our awareness necessary, but our donations, studies and our active participation in spreading this knowledge. One day at a time we can save endangered species. 

                                                                            E.B