Philosophical asshat

Nov 19th 10:42 pm:

Fondly remembering a time when I was patient and content with life and what it had to offer.. 

these days, it seems, I’m becoming more patient and desiring to have an understanding of those around me on an intimate, constant basis , and less patient with life and what it has to offer. 

Adversity...

A tricky curve ball that chaos itself has thrown at you. 

Life seems to me, a constant straight with its own meanings and ways, that sometimes happens upon other sort of things... but is nonetheless, it’s own line. 

What do we do with it ?

 Now, that seems to me, the only thing we can have an answer to. 

I no longer believe that everything happens for a reason, I truly know now that when we are happening upon a bit of chaos that you call adversity, we can choose to find something within it that teaches us or shows us something. In any sort of light...

Complete devastation can allow us to feel so much suffering that one day, we can call on that pain with gratitude or complete grief.. 

 Some sort of strength was acquired in the future, because of that. Our hearts and life lessons (as I call them) are a collection of beautiful triumphs ( or failures) over something so devastating or disappointing. What do we take from these adversities, if anything at all? And what do we do with it as we are in the current state of ? If I take my heart as I am, then what will come of it ? Do I allow myself to suffer so ? If this is what I choose, will I come out with a better understanding or will I just stay the same ? As I question this, I know the latter is not possible. Me, stay the same ? Ha! One thing is for certain, a halt in evolution is not on my plate. But how do we discern the evolving from the stagnant waste? How can one possibly hate humanity and love it all at the same time? And when did I start sounding like some self pondering philosophical asshat... 

E.B

Taken from my private collections--